Monday, November 2, 2009

The One Thing Gold That Can Stay

I am not sure why I got the third season, but I got the third season of golden girls one year and it literally is

it's healing.

these ladies. the episodes are as timeless as the women. all of those backless kitchen scenes - they made it work.

dorothy spornak makes me feel okay to be too tall with huge balls
blanche makes me feel okay to be horny with attitude and something about batting eyelashes which, without blanche, would seem ridiculous
rose makes me feel okay to be a sap/village idiot
and sofia
darling sofia
all the wisdom of every woman wrapped in a bitter, old, hilarious italian lady with a dirty sense of humour and softspot for oral history/family

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Back in the High Life Again

Paul originally thought this song was by Don Henley so we searched for it and then I realized both look like they are on a Founding Fathers tour or something - what is going on with these hair choices? 80s. but way too founding father to not receive your thoughtful attention

(PS: Love Winwood's hair shadows on the van, sides of buildings, everywhere...)

this isn't the henley I was going to post - less Founding Fathers hair and more, you know, Jimmy Carter-esque here. I just couldn't post Desperado--however, if you look for that video, he's got a ponytail (and means it)

Friday, August 21, 2009

Forgive Me!

I am ashamed of myself for having left out one of the most amazing Cher movies I have ever seen - MASK

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Quick Reminder: Cher As An Actress

Do you ever just sit around and contemplate how fucking amazing Cher is as an actress?


let me help you!

I'll give you three unforgettable performances RIGHT NOW:

3. Witches of Eastwick

2. Mermaids

1. Moonstruck

I hope you can appreciate this Cherminder.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Sunday, June 14, 2009

the best consumer letter ever

This is an actual letter from an Austin woman sent to American company Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph. It's PC Magazine's 2007 editors' choice for best webmail-award-winning letter.

Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing?

As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customer's monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women.

The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'

Are you f------ kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness, is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.

For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong',

Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit. And that's a promise I will keep.

Always. .

Wendi Aarons
Austin , TX

Monday, June 8, 2009

it's monday night

while "hungry eyes" plays, we figured out that gary sinise had a baby with orson welles and the aunt was catherine zeta jump street.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

vaginal euphemism list

feel free to contribute...

the tundra
roast beef curtain (barf)
the bearded clam
fish taco
your promise
special purpose

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

the elements of fiction

i am grading my sourcebook quizzes for one class and the question was:

"name 3 of the 6 elements of fiction we talked about in class." we talked about: character, setting, point of view, conflict, resolution, and plot. which now i'm like ehhh.

anyway, jayleen's answer:
talking animals, magic powers, living dead

sometimes i really do love it. haha.

Monday, March 9, 2009

The joy of my life is in Ssion


"Frances is waay cuter than lourdes" --> Nearly shit my pants.

In case you didn't notice Madonna, Courtney love and Roseanna formed a super group called Waiting to Exhale!! Cody is genius. Heart

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Hawaii Chair

We should all get these for work.

have you ever watched that celebrex commercial?

seriously. i watched the celebrex commercial and it was literally 2 minutes or so of warnings and then at the end it was like, "celebrex. understand the risks, feel the benefits."

i'm going to see if i can find it.

there you go. fucking crazy.

Friday, January 23, 2009

poconos champagne tower suite pocoGO

hilarity towers - champagne tower suites in the Poconos. We could not stop thinking of Gordon and how he should be here honking the horn in the car demanding we leave now and be in champagne by the new day...we can gaze upon him in the champagne tower from the heart shaped pool.

Let's organize a champagne tower party.


we miss you, handsome.